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Saturday, November 20, 2010

Darvocet 86’D

And the word on the street is…

Darvocets are getting yanked from U.S. pharmacy shelves.  Apparently there’s a brand spanking new study linking the active ingredient propoxyphene, to serious and sometimes fatal abnormalities.
I call bullshit!
Since when does Xanodyne Pharmaceuticals Inc., the makers of Darvocet and Darvon, actually give a flying shit saucer fuck about the well being of opiate consumers?  The FDA estimated that 10 million patients received Darvocets last year.  Two things about all this strike me as being odd.  First of all, 10 million users sounds to be (sadly) a low ball estimate.  Everyone and their grandma’s are on opiates these days.  The second sneaky factoid is that Darvocets are known by the majority of these, uh… uhmm, 10 million “patients” (retorting back to patronization) as the weakest of all weak opiates.  As a matter of fact, the very reason why millions of otherwise straight edgers, or those who may actually be trying to take care of some form of legitimate pain take Darvocet, is because they know it’s the least dangerous of the available painkillers.  Also, seasoned doctor hoppers who are tired of shaking hands with the devil and are reluctant to go on another world tour with the monkey on their back, figure they can get away with a Darvocet here and there without signing that tiresome contract again.  They can get a little taste with little or no consequences. 

So what’s the real issue here?  Is it that the little red pill is not effective enough at sinking its teeth into unsuspecting prey?  Is it not addictive enough?  Are pharmaceutical big dogs finally giving up on the “rarely” habit-forming, mini-poppers?  Maybe they’re ceasing production on the waste of time, pussy pills to concentrate on the real money makers.  Everybody knows synthetic, raw dog, heroin is where it’s at!  Oxycontin, oxycodone, hydrocodone, morphine, whatever they want to dress it up as…now these are the pharmaceutical companies “true” safe bets.

America, it’s official…86 the Darvocets.  You have been phased up!  Hello Vicodin!

J.S. Lambert

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wow never thought of it that way. What are your views on the CIA facilitating the entrance of crack into this country?