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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Aww Hell-O-Ween!

All Hallows Eve is approaching like a turd after a good dose of Metamucil. Okay... that was sick, but is that not the point of Halloween? To change the way we think for the day, week, whatever? To Shock? To gross out or just plain get freaky? I think so too. That's why I have always enjoyed watching the ghouls unite for a little trickin' and a whole lotta' treatin'! So what's a guy/gal gonna wear this year? What happened to the good old skeleton, zombie, ghost, or even the ever popular Chewbaka getup?  Every year, party people seem to get a little sicker and grosser, losing all senses of what is offensive... and I love it!
I will never forget attending a Halloween street party in downtown Orlando Florida in 2003. The recent mauling of Roy Horn of Sigfried & Roy, which occurred October 3 at the Mirage in Las Vegas, was without a doubt, one of the hottest news stories of the month. I saw a lot of scary, funny, and even sickening costumes that night; most of which I can't remember now (7 years later). However, there was one that thawed my ice cold veins quicker than I could grab my disposable camera to take a quick snapshot. Yes. There, in the middle of Church Street, posed two men, adorned in all white stage costumes bedazzled to the core and draped with thick fake blood, spattered so perfectly, Dexter would be proud. A gigantic, fake, stuffed white tiger was strategically placed, teeth clamped to the neck of the man who portrayed the victim, Roy. The guys were what the news would deem inappropriate, but they were the hit of the party that night.
Each year, people stretch the realms of what society would judge as classy or right. Still, none of these shocking costumes stand out like the ones you would look at and say, "Man! That just ain't right!" One more costume that made it to my "Honorable Mention" list was  the crocodile hunter. A Steve Irwin costume equipped with a deadly, stingray chest attachment, which I saw just one month after he was killed on duty in the Great Barrier Reef of north  Queensland. Classless, tasteless... pure genius!
What will we be wearing this year? I am confident that the twisted minds of America will pull out something more creative than the overused, washed up, pimp and hoe costume that gives ladies an excuse to dress up like sluts, and guys a reason to act like they are some kinda big shit ballers for the night. I am very confident we will see thousands of Lady Gaga wannabees out there this Halloween. Yes, another hot mess, skank suit, accessorized by S&M gadgets and all the fixins. A tip to all you Lady Gagas to be; why not try the Gaga Gore Gear? You know... go for the raw meat dress that she rocked out at this years VMAs? Now that was a GORY site!


Anonymous said...

I'm gonna be Michelle Duggar delivering her 20th kid. Whoa! Now, THAT's scary!

jslambert said...

20 kids= Helluh-SCARY!